Traveller's Tale Club
by legi0
Summary: This story is first of dilogy "Tales From Crystal's Pony Tail". Crossover between next universes: Team Fortress 2 Counter-Strike Quake 3 Arena Hitman Series Unreal Tournament Battlefield 1942 Halo Combat Evolved Cyborg Justice Sid Meier's Civilization 2 The Sims 2 Second part and ending of dilogy is "Robot Unicorn Attack".


Prologue.

He said: Come out, unclean spirit out of the man. He asked him: What is your name? And he answered and said: My name is Legion cause we are many.

Gospel of Mark

Record number 1 in the Legio's Dictaphone:

"...As far I can remember I always seen dreams in color. More or less, if my memory serves me, I could not understand the difference between waking and sleeping.

"Lucid dream." it is probably due to autosuggestion, isn't it? No, not in my case - I tried it but it did not help. I'm not even a teenager who might have suffered or even enjoyed it... Perhaps, afterwards, sleepwalking is remembered very clearly but as in the case with dreaming it could not influence what is happening because everything is perceived as if it were actually taking place (which, in fact it was actually, wasn't it?). And, no matter! Sad, isn't it? I would be inclined to say no rather than yes. This inability to explain the impact of the illusory in turn gave an indescribable feeling of presence and it gave rise to feelings which in no way can be distinguished from the present. And every dream thus became simultaneously real and unreal as if viewing unreal cinematic action. Well, my little (background noise), welcome to the Traveller's tale club?.."

Chapter 1.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:  
"What is really the matter my sweet hare (I hate it when she calls me that!)? Had a nightmare again?" The girl-medic from his unit gently resting her palm on his chest.  
"Yes, right." The guy answered vaguely.  
"Tell me." She asked, no more she demanded.  
"Well, I dreamed of our RED then their BLU then RED again or may have been BLU? And it does not matter! The most important thing was that I saw your whole body covered in blood and you called me... whether you meant me in particular I do not know but you said: Lord God , help me..."  
Having said this, he stopped thinking about anything.  
"Never mind - it's just a stupid dream! You know that God does not exist, don't you?" The medic said with conviction. "And this is what you should do in the future since you are so severely depressed - try to throw your negative emotions onto paper in the form of notes or something like that."  
"Yes of course." The guy whispered and then turning towards her pulled her to himself and clung to her all the while showering her with kisses...

"...So it happened like this: there came to me a Jehovah's Witnesses or a Baptist. But it does not matter! So he comes to me and says:  
"Do you believe in our one God?"  
"No." I say. "I do not believe."  
"Why?!"  
"Well, see for yourself ,here the dog is running along the street, here there is just sand. It is up to me whether I believe or not - here there is shit... So it is with God."  
"So still believe? Oh no you do not understand! if God exists then I believe in him , and the most important thing is not whether I believe in him but whether he believes in me... What do you say in such cases? What? Some crap? Well, crap... And yet it is that! Who exists? Yes of course the dog..."  
Next to him was a traveler's tale telling gunner equipping his gun with the final cartridge and, then gloomily he surveyed the whole motley crew around him: the medic was called Leg10,the gunner L3g10, forward Leg1o - the thrower was completely frostbitten soldier with posttraumatic syndrome in a helmet and a bullet and in addition, flamethrower L3gi0 in his constant mask... no he does not even want to think about this psychopath!  
Oh yeah and of course your faithful servant - scout Legio.  
All of them were part of the mercenaries group Reliable Excavation & Demolition but in spite of the difference of races and religious beliefs there was one important thing that united them - hatred of another mercenaries squad Builders League United.  
Now, the whole band was preparing for the coming battle, all prayed to their gods asking them to protect their the most important weapons and ammunition.  
The gods did not have to wait long: here and there in the hands of the soldiers there began to appear a variety of means of mass destruction.  
Scout always asked wondered about his faithful sawn-off shotgun and a baseball bat and gun - he preferred not to tempt the gods greed by hoping to get something more in a fair fight. The other things are not left in the loser: each is received by faith.  
And yet the scout did not leave in a dismal state: it seemed that he had already seen it somewhere else. Besides he lied and with three boxes from his fighting girlfriend: Legio dreamed that they all would die but he did not say anything to disturb her.  
But finally he caught the movement of the enemy locator - battle began!  
Red mercenaries entered the territory maps and they all called it moving dashes. Scout, medic and gunner quickly reached a preselected place for an ambush. Hiding, they had to wait.  
"Listen and do you not think that all this does not make sense?" scout whispered the nurse.  
"What are you?" she protested.  
"You know, I ask myself all the time the same question: Why? Why do we keep fighting? All my life and I just do that and kill blue, I've lost so many comrades but I do not rejoice losing you too. Have you never imagined a better way out?"  
"No I'm surprised. But what about the ideals of our struggle? Yes, I'll be happy to die in battle with these blue bastards!" he even imagined the feverish gleam in her eyes behind the mask and judging by her voice the scout realized that she was very disappointed.  
"You will not be happy." he thought wearily.  
"What did you say?" she appeared oblivious to the fact that that Legio had said it out loud.  
Machine gunner did not give him a chance to answer:  
"Maybe you are already there until finally shut up..."  
He did not finish - the bullet demolished half his head. They instantly fell to the ground face down, that was very timely: for in their shelter came under a firestorm of lead.  
"Reinforcements! Demand reinforcements!" scout shouted into the intercom but no one answered him.  
Looking at life indicators he understood everything: Group of RED they had only two.  
"We have to go." scout shouted firing from the pursuing blue... and no answer.  
Startled from engulfed his cold suspicion he reluctantly turned slowly: nurse lying on her back staring blankly into the sky.  
Running up to her, scout heard her whisper bloodied lips:  
"Lord God , help me because it's God we are..."  
Shouldering her over that it forces he rushed off. She also became the final carry nonsense:  
"See, the sky, look, what sky overhead and yet we're never looked at the sky just not expecting that we would shoot out." suddenly she choked. Her throat went blood.  
"Well, what are you, dear, patience, it will soon come quite." scout tried to make his voice all the tenderness which was only capable but suddenly he was knocked down explosive shock wave.  
Lying on the ground and unable to rise Legio turned his head in time to see the BLU sniper who looked at scout and pull the trigger...

Record number 2 in the Legio's Dictaphone:  
"...Shreds torn wool close my moral golden bullet wound from passed right through the eye through the brain and disappearing over the horizon.  
Evening.  
Former white suddenly became crimson wool then it blackened but I squeezed its probably in the morning and it cried into a frenzy, tears fell to the ground, suddenly burst into laughter, coughed loudly and tears as stones, and tears as bullets, and tears as torn pieces of cotton wool close my moral wound from golden bullet passed right through the eye through the brain and disappearing over the horizon..."

Chapter 2.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time the guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:  
"What is really the matter my sweet hare (I really hate it when she calls me that!)? Had a nightmare again?" The girl-medic from his unit gently resting her palm on his chest.  
"Yes, right." The guy answered vaguely.  
"Tell me." She asked, no, more she demanded.  
"Well, it was a clear sunny day. The sky was cloudless. I walked with you along the creek since we were required to enclose the selected portion of the area with barbed wire. Suddenly I stopped and forcefully grabbed a portion of the barbed wire in my fist. You looked into my eyes then took my hand from which flowed a thin trickle of blood and kissed it.  
I wonder if you remembered that incident later when you took me to the rifle site on the same shore:  
"Well, let's go, my little hare." A harsh grimace distorted your beautiful face.  
I silently obeyed. And already NKVD and two soldiers had come to meet us. The soldiers came closer and took me into custody but the officer repeated to you the normal official phrase:  
"Thank you for your service, comrade, the motherland will not forget you." And we immediately went into the woods behind the soldiers.  
You automatically followed us. When we went into the thicket NKVD said as he turned towards me:  
"For desertion from the front you have been sentenced by a military court to suffer capital punishment." And without thinking twice he shot me in the chest.  
The expression on his face as he did this did not change. I like a bag of bones fell to the ground. You came to me and took my hand from which a thin red trickle of blood flowed and kissed it. Then you raised your rifle and turned toward the smoking guns as if nothing had happened to the soldiers. You pulled the trigger. The NKVD was shot and completely blown away. At the same time the officer managed to mutter:  
"Breaking..." The body collapsed and the brains fell out.  
Roaring like an animal you attacked one of the soldiers and with your nails scratched him in the face. He screamed wildly but it was too late: you managed to claw out both his eyes. The second soldier crept up behind you and moved to head butt you... The day was bright and sunny and cloudless sky clean..."  
Having said this, he stopped, thinking about anything.  
"Never mind, it's just a stupid dream and nothing more!" The medic said with conviction.  
"Yes, of course." The guy whispered and then turning towards her pulled her to himself and clung to her all the while showering her with kisses...

"...I rode the tram... or bus, it's not important! So to the food itself, trying to mend the primus, I think its about the female mood of optimism (although some interesting personalities vehemently argue that the former does not happen). I have in my hands a lucky ticket to an exorbitant session, then I see a bug crawling on the glass and it's so small that one finger can strangle it. And suddenly I thought: But if someone out there looks at me in the same way as I look at the insect. Then I thought to myself: Well, to hell it, this bug"... some dirt... We're all insects..." Former "seal" halfheartedly listening another traveler's tale of the former German border guard and equipping his gun with the final cartridge and, then gloomily he surveyed the whole motley crew around him: the medic was called Leg10, German border guard L3g10 from GSG-9, English paratrooper Leg1o from SAS, French gendarme L3gi0 from GIGN.  
Oh yeah and of course your faithful servant - "seal" Legio from SEAL Team 6.  
All of them were part of the United Counterterrorism Team - abbreviated to CT. In spite of the difference of race and religious belief, there was one important thing that united them all - hatred of the united terrorist squad huddled together groups like Eastern European Phoenix Faction, Middle Eastern Elite Crew, Swedish Arctic Avengers and South American Guerilla Warfare.  
Now, the whole band was preparing for the coming battle, all prayed to their gods asking them to protect their the most important weapons and ammunition.  
The gods did not have to wait long: here and there in the hands of the soldiers there began to appear a variety of means of mass destruction.  
The "Seal" always worried about his knife and gun - he preferred not to tempt the gods jealousy by hoping to get something more in a fair fight. The other things are not left to the loser: each is received in faith.  
And yet, the seal did not leave in a sad state of mind... But he said nothing to his fighting girlfriend to disturb her.  
But finally he caught the movement of the enemy locator - battle began!  
CT entered the territory with maps and they all began to dash around. The "seal" medic and the border guard quickly reached a place for an ambush which had been chosen before. They hid themselves and had to wait.  
"Listen, there is something I have always wanted to ask you about." The "seal" whispered to the nurse.  
"Not the best time." The girl tried to laugh it off.  
"There will not be a better time." He said and continued. "Why me? I mean, why did you choose me from amongst all the others?"  
"Just because you are the best... of the worst." She did not turn around and her answer was like a slap in the face and instantly brought him out of himself. He did not have time to say anything to say anything as the conversation went into German:  
"Can you shut up now, at least until..."  
He did not have time to finish because the bullet demolished "seal's" half head...

Record number 3 in the Legio's dictaphone:  
"...The first mass defoliation every time as the last with the speed of life in spite of death.  
It's scared and afraid to fall knowing that you're dying and if you do not know if you do not die?  
Presenting the worst alignment as if you are a single and unique, navel of the earth, being the center.  
As if life is one and most important thing is not to die.  
But if it's not the main thing in life because it is not important.  
Look yourself in the eye, ask yourself the question: What is the point in this?  
And be happy if you are familiar!  
Say thanks to invented God who came up with you.  
Pray and go again: to sleep, to wake up, to eat, to shit, to fu...n?!  
"Love?" they will be answer for you and instinctively crossed themself, frantically swallowing, whispered,- here it is - happiness?  
And only the first mass defoliation each new time as the last with the speed of its own life contrary to someone else's death..."

Chapter 3.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:  
"What is really the matter, my sweet hare (Oh, mother fu...n! I so hate it when she calls me that!)? Had a nightmare again?" The girl-gladiator (so, he was gladiator too), but she was in a previous life instructor Crash who is now gently resting her palm on his chest.  
"Yes, right" The guy answered vaguely.  
"Tell me" She asked, no, more she demanded.  
"Well, I stood in front of the hotel entrance. Next to me left and right there were you and our gallant Serge with his constant cigar (Grandpa Freud said, didn't he? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, oh, yes, of course!). You both were silent but in your eyes was clearly please that I did not go anywhere and tidied up with you out of here in good time. But I had to go. Wordlessly I  
entered into the building and took the elevator to the top floor where I found needed a room then broke down the door and got inside. I found in the cache all that I came for: money, weapons, ammunition.  
Suddenly there was a scream street. Rushing out to the balcony I saw an unpleasant picture: Sergeant breathlessly lying in a pool of his own blood and you head to the oversight of the barrel of the gun in the hands of a thug slanted in strict black suit and sunglasses with a goatee who smiled contemptuously. Still more like he there were the same clones-some copy machine victims only clean-shaven hurriedly rushed to the hotel. I rushed like the bullet to cache fleeting glance in the mirror and seeing that there is a high bald man in a black business suit and red tie but time to enjoy a longer had not anymore. Grabbing two silver pistols with silencers and several grenades, I stood outside the door and waited - I had to wait a short time: couple of clones soon burst into the room but I immediately shot them from the both barrels. The rest were smarter and hid in the corridor - to there I replied a couple of grenades.  
Carefully looking into the corridor I satisfied with that I saw and was already gone to the fire escape when I saw staring at me wide-eyed young woman in pink nightgown sticking out from behind the door of the neighboring room. Realizing that I had sketched her she immediately slammed the door. I didn't wanted for special ceremony and standing in front of her room I passed the door with my feet... And I was right in front of me looking in the chest barrel shotgun:  
"It was necessary to fasten armor" - I thought before the charge of buckshot delivered my body from the room completely..."  
Having said this, he stopped, thinking about anything.  
"Never mind - it's just a stupid dream and nothing more!" The instructor said with conviction.  
"Yes, of course." The guy whispered and then turning towards her pulled her to himself and clung to her all the while showering her with kisses...

"...Instructions for laboratory work using experimental mice: Take the first paragraph - Mouse. Second paragraph - resulting mush...  
Since we're talking about mice... and do you know what is common between frogs and mice? Yes, of course, I know that you don't know, don't picking - it was a rhetorical question! I'll tell you:  
In practical classes in physiology for each pair of students allocated one frog (It comes from the three-liter bottle thus it is necessary to be careful otherwise it will jump across the lab), next it wrapped in a handkerchief peeking out so that only the snout (at this point the frog eyes are so eyes - just very true eyes in the world).  
Experience 1. Take special needle and enter it under the animal's skin to the spinal cord in the transition region of the head in the trunk on the back paralyzing amphibian. Convinced of its immobility detachable one leg muscle tissue and nerves connected to the spinal cord and spend experience with conducting electrical impulses.  
Experience 2. take scissors and cut frog upper jaw with the skull, eyes and ears leaving the lower jaw for which body is hung on the hook and draw experience from the response to acid exposure.  
When you ask what is the mouse?  
And despite the fact that at the very moment when we introduce a needle into the spinal cord or scissors cut the upper jaw to the skull eyes and ears peep frogs begin to cry as these same mice. After all the madness as gravity - you should only push. And it is not in mice or frogs trouble even in a case against the people and it is not that why, when, and where we are cruel, but the fact that we are cruel because we think, believe and know that we CAN..." Former Space Marine (oh yeah, because there are no former Marines) listened with half an ear next traveler's tale of Serge equipping his last grenade. Having loaded bother charging the extreme ultra chuck he glumly looked all around his motley crew: girl gladiator Leg10 or instructor Crash - favorite weapon shotgun, gladiator rocket launcher L3g10 formerly known as Sergeant, Gladiator Leg1o - aka Ranger - lover plasma and laser guns and other sundry other gladiators once had so proud names like Razor, Mayor, Angel, Patriot, Hunter... All of them are now part of the nameless legion. Oh yeah and of course your faithful servant - gladiator-thrower Legio who was space mariner at past.  
Several centuries ago, a mysterious race Vadrigar built Eternal Arena place for gladiatorial combat is entertaining Vadrigar. Nothing is known about these creatures, except that they like to watch the slaughter and dust of battle. They go into the arena gladiators best of all time. In order to win the gladiator was required not only to survive but also to defeat their rivals.  
Vadrigar fights can not win even death fallen warrior immediately regenerated and returned back into the fray perhaps even more experienced.  
When the dust settled and the blood of the soldiers continued their fight entertaining Vadrigar. But only the strongest of the gladiators will go further until he or she meet with Xaero - champion Eternal Arena.  
They were all Gladiators but despite the difference of races and religious beliefs was one important thing that unites them all: hatred of the race Vadrigar and in particular of Xaero.  
But finally, and the battle began! Gladiators entered the territory maps, all called it and immediately began to destroy each other. Marine and did not have time to look like a map survived only two: he and former instructor Crash.  
"I love you too, dear!" Marine shouted from behind cover in response to her guns on the volley.  
"It is a pity that I can not answer you the same" Fun girl answered.  
"How is it that?" He asked.  
"Well, for example why do you love me?"  
"Why? It's no cause and effect - it is just that you have so that's somehow like in the song: I love you for the fact that I love you."  
"No, I do not want it, and I can not, and I do not know how to love and if I will fall in love only for something specific."  
"Wait what does that mean?" Marine tried to think. "Here you are with me, right? Now, but if suddenly some simpleton who will be better than me: smarter or stronger, so, there you go away from me to him so that if?!"  
"Eeyup." Voice clearly betrayed a girl smile.  
"Oh, you..." Marine muttered furiously all the while bypassing her shelter from the flank, and jumped now turned the corner... and right before looking him in the chest barrel shotgun:  
"I love you for what you do not love me" - he thought before the charge of buckshot delivered his body out completely...

Record number 4 in the Legio's dictaphone:  
"...Subjective Unique Individual Ceremonial Irrational Destructive Experiment. Way of the Samurai is very similar for loneliness of tiger. We lost our war. We were taught: Life is suffering cause of suffering is desire, so, liberation from desire is path to salvation. But when we receive salvation and with it the freedom it overflowed and we poured over the edge. We simply have nowhere to put it became. And we thought (a fatal mistake!) and what is meaning of this? No, of course there is the personal meaning for each individual, each (mother fu...n!) personality but by and large, if objectively look the part: no, because no point in all of this. There is no point in all of this!  
But back to the freedom: when we found freedom from desires, we were no longer afraid (I realize now that this from us and sought) but with this it's unbearable waiting for the end when you're still waiting to become unbearable. Try it for yourself this bittersweet of bushido: wake up with the idea and willingness that today you can die and go to bed with the thought that tomorrow you can and should die.  
And all that kept us from getting to get up out of the trenches in our last desperate growth is our loved ones, our love for them: our favorite are very vulnerable.  
And at such moments inevitably you begin to wonder: And would be easier if they had never existed in the world, hadn't they?  
(Background song An Orphan sounds)  
No worse punishment to live too long  
I hate waiting  
I look at life through the eyes of the wolf  
I will not die slowly  
The night sighed, she was  
Death teased, she waited  
Life played, she left  
And it will never return  
I am an orphan, I am an orphan  
My war ended  
My last game  
I am an orphan, I am an orphan  
I can not die  
But I can not live either...  
(Background song Endless Melancholy sounds)  
Bastards die and good people too  
Patients die and doctors too  
Cats die, mice die  
Worms die in a pile of shit  
All die...  
And here I am writing on the back of fallen comrade sitting in a burning tank falls out of a dive bomber was shot down:  
We LoSt OuR wAr (ApOlOgIzE fOr UnEvEn HaNdWrItInG).  
(Background song Hara-kiri sounds)  
The only way for honest guys  
It take a gun and kill everybody  
Or commit suicide  
If taken seriously this world...  
But intuitively sense dictates that you are right even if you're wrong you know: No, it's better way than to wait:  
(Background song When we at war sounds)  
When we at war  
When we are at war  
To meet the bullets fly  
On my black horse...  
GAME 0VER.  
P.S. "But we have one goal - SUICIDE!.."

Chapter 4.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:  
"What is really the matter my sweet hare (Oh... Spit out!)? Had a nightmare again?" Asked the girl (Just MY girlfriend and it doesn't matter at this time what her name is. Maybe Cleopatra, or Zarina, Diva? Ophelia? Lilith? Ambrosia?! And the form in which she appeared before me now is especially irrelevant: a woman, cyborg, robot, unknown critter is just not important) from his gently (and maybe not from my competitor but from my rather hostile or even neutral) unit (Clan? Squad? Sects?) resting her palm on his chest.  
"Yes, right." The guy answered vaguely.  
"Tell me." She asked, no, more she demanded.  
"The sky opened flower embellishment clearing star. The Ocean Dream licks old wounds without causing pain. Rustling sound of the surf like a kiss between land and sea.  
I sit on the shore at the piano and play "Dolphin Delight" giving delight to (who would have thought that?) the dolphin splashing in the waves and singing along with the music.  
"What are you singing about?"  
"About my dream."  
"What is your dream?"  
"If I tell you that the dream will not come true."  
For a while we were both silent, each thinking about personal things.  
"Well let it be so. If I dream about that tomorrow, you won't kill me."  
"What are you talking about? I will never hurt you!"  
"Life devours life. That is the normal procedure."  
"I would never hurt you" - then I thought and when the next day came I could no longer find the dolphin. Never.  
It's cloudy but there is no rain in the territory of the concentration camp. All the inmates continue to work, constantly on the move to stop - Death. Totally normal behaviour. Suddenly the camp commander comes up to me in person and with a cheerful smile says:  
"By the decision of the superior command you're up for an amnesty and a subsequent release." And continuing to smile he starts to get out his service weapon.  
Realizingt he threat to me, I suddenly rushed forward and forced down the commandant. I gave him a blow in the face and tried to run away. However,I tripped over and fell on another prisone,I jumped again but the bullet struck the commandant.  
"Life is shit." Commandant spits out blood and goes away.  
"Life is wonderful" - I have more time to think now than before...  
At the end of a dark corridor there are lights on. I'm going to light until I leave the room. In the middle of it there stands a festive table and behind it there are officers in uniforms and ladies sitting in evening dresses with valueble. There at the head of the table is a chair behind it is a large antique mirror. As I approach the mirror I see the reflection of the Fuehrer who turned to the guests. He took a glass into his hand and I like the newly-born leader of the party said:  
"I would like to tell you one funny incident in my life. It happened when I was commandant of the concentration camp..."  
Having said this, he stopped, thinking about anything.  
"Never mind, it's just a stupid dream and nothing more!" The girl said with conviction.  
"Tell me one thing: why we are here at this time?"  
"And what do you mean: Why? I'm surprised by you! Because we must to participate in Unreal Tournament, of course!"  
"Oh, yeah, in Unreal Tournament... And how could I forget?" The young man lamented and then turning pulled her to himself and pressed her showering her with kisses. His hands played with her body as if it were a finely tuned instrument...

"...Once upon a time there lived a Clinical Cesar. He was very gracious and allowed the Insane Inquisitor to declare a witch hunt and crusade against the infidels. during this one Warm Witch wanted to thank Clinical Cesar and send down to his daughter Pretty Princess Devilish Dragon which in turn took her away. No, well, as simply it stole: Everyone seen the dragon flew to Princess'es chambers and then it was obvious that the same kidnapped.  
Clinical Cesar issued a decree and it ordered all the knights to save his daughter, but all the knights had been sent on the crusade. Then he ordered a dozen of his personal guards, headed by Chic Chevalier find at least one. And they did it! They combed the taverns of the kingdom and soon brought in a drunken asshole one. There was a kindly Knight who could do the following five things perfectly: He was able to fence, to ride, to play checkers, to believe in God and serve the image of Pretty Princess.  
And now, a baker's dozen mercenaries rush at full speed to overcome the impassable swamps and jungles, the inaccessible mountain peaks and the insurmountable abyss until they finally got to the abandoned castle where the beast was hiding Beauty. When they reached the throne room, the warriors beheld, with admiration and awe, the great Devilish Dragon guarding the Pretty Princess upon the throne. And they fought for fifteen years and one day while the only ones left alive: there were Chic Chevalier and Kindly Knight. Suddenly the Guard commander contrived to sever the finger of the monster's paw. The Devilish Dragon roared in pain and before the eyes of everyone a miracle began to take place - finger began to decrease in size until turned into a human. At the same time the kindly Knight crept back to the monster and, with one mighty blow, pierced its heart.  
"Stay, Kindly Knight!" Chic Chevalier said but it was too late.  
"What have you done, you moron?" Guard commander lamented and he suddenly heard a loud girlish laughter.  
"Oh, you, bitch, now you will get some." Chic Chevalier croaked heading towards Pretty Princess exposing the blade.  
"And damn you, what are you gong to do?" Kindly Knight called out to him.  
"What I have to do." When the Guard Commander said it, he was already swinging his sword in the direction of the girl but suddenly he fell to the ground and the back of the blade pierced a comrade. When she saw this turn of events Pretty Princess went to the Kindly Knight and passionately sucked his lips with a long passionate kiss. Holding hands they went away together. A dozen royal guards bodies, all bloodied, were left lying in the throne room. The corpses of the Chic Chevalier and the Pretty Princess were there also. She was transformed by the Warm Witch into a Devilish Dragon in retaliation for Clinical Cesar and Insane Inquisitor..." He listened with half an ear next traveler's tale of his colleague (Partner? Adversary? And what's a difference?) equipping its current weapon.  
"Fuck it all away!" Legio exclaimed and shot him who was in the nearest party next competition is not a life but death tore him to pieces.  
Everyone else around him reacted instantly and now he is torn to shreds but for a long time it sounded like a crazy laugh in every their ears...

Record number 5 in the Legio's Dictaphone:  
"...Awareness of the fact that every creature's life on this planet is extremely ephemeral like and the shell(single cell) is where I concluded. The fact that my own will is so fragile and insignificant always made me mad, evil, fierce with an unquenchable hatred. Paranoia is like worms inside me, a winepress nullifying all my ideas and undertakings. Why? What's fucking sense in this? Someone will say: "Self-development". You live and learn and ,yeah, you'll die fool, heh. Self-development will be over and therefore does not make sense. Someone will say that it makes sense to leave descendants to continue the race and other nonsense. Well, yes of course! But it is not me and a completely alien to me the other person with whom I except hereditary information most likely will not be something more than nothing. Certainly. It's not a solution too. Someone betrayed hedonism but it will eventually get tired of this here living in a fu...nny nature is prone to satiety. It is not an option. Go to the monastery to endure the hardships and privations perishable earthly existence. We will say together: we do not need it! Oh, the unbearable lightness of being - it's look like just some frustration.  
Omnipresent someone will plant his hands and say: "Well, take it and then kill yourself against a wall or drink poison, stupid author!" If it were so simple... Even a tiny assumption punishment in the form of extension re existence immediately cools my ardor and drives rags pissing away all thoughts about SUICIDE and all that remains - this GAME. To play for complete surrender, happily, unrestrained. After all, if things do not make sense that there is at least a story and it's something. That's just for the sake of traveler's tales and worth living, at least to me..."

Chapter 5.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:  
"What is really the matter my sweet hare (No comments...)? Had a nightmare again?" The girl-medic from his unit gently resting her palm on his chest.  
"Yes, right." The guy answered vaguely.  
"Tell me." She asked, no, more she demanded.  
"Well, smoking my pipe and blowing smoke rings I as head physician United Secret Social Rehabilitation Central Clinic of Crank Protecting & Serving Using (abbreviated to USSR CC of the CPSU) dictating to you as my secretary a new recipe for invigorating euthanasia to unit of hell population:  
Bread's Privacy.  
Due to the increasing incidence of bread crusts in ejection chutes and complaints of the population of the Neva river city on the poor quality of roads namely the presence of ditches and muddy puddles  
I command:  
From now on all citizens of the Neva river city to buy fresh bread and to throw bread crusts in the garbage disposal that in turn will be used to fill ditches and muddy puddles that according to experts significantly improve the quality of roads.  
Violation of an order that is eaten by the citizens of the Neva river city bread crusts would be considered treason and is punishable by capital punishment up to execution..."  
Having said this, he stopped, thinking about anything.  
"Never mind, it's just a stupid dream and nothing more!" The medic said with conviction.  
"Yes, of course." The guy whispered and then turning towards her pulled her to himself and clung to her all the while showering her with kisses...

"...Our father was a great joker, when his wife and part (what a coincidence!) our mother bore him twins he did not think of anything better to call us both one and the same name. Of course all around made round eyes and asked excitedly:  
"Why do you need It?"  
And this asshole invariably answered with most that have stupid muzzle face expression:  
"What's the difference? They're the same!"  
Although I am willing to bet that these questions secretly brought him wildly and amused his greatness... Arrogant bastard!  
At the same time remembering those years I can not deny that sometimes came to the same course of embarrassment but still yet... no, no pardon him!" He listened with half an ear another gunner traveler's tale equipping his trophy "Walter" then turned to the teller and asked:  
"Listen and where are we now actually?"  
"What's that mean: "where"?" The gunner was taken aback. "At the front... on the battlefield... of confrontation to these as... fascist invaders."  
"And what's year now?" It did not prompt as if nothing had happened he asked.  
"Forty second." Gunner responded cautiously and even slightly moved.  
"The battlefield... Then 1942? Perfect!" Exclaimed happily man and put a gun to his temple shaved and pulled the trigger...

Record number 6 in the Legio's Dictaphone:  
"...Since childhood, I've always liked only those games in which I can show individuality of consciousness. On the contrary the same games where it is necessary to depict anyone was caused in me aversion:  
"Hey, look at me - I am Batman!"  
"No, look at me - I am Superman!"  
"No, look at you - you are moron!"  
Why should I play the role of someone? This is somehow limited, isn't this? I'm not so poor and defective to experience someone else's life. I have enough my personal life. In this game where I could be myself always attracted me the opportunity to create some unique image and to feel something original creator - is this not happiness? After all, if you do not have an opportunity to be yourself then why are you existing?.."

Chapter 6.

He slept... tossed restlessly, muttered something quite unintelligible then suddenly screamed and woke up. Some time guy lay motionless staring unblinking at the ceiling until he felt someone's lips on his cheek:  
"What is really the matter my sweet hare (But to me it is already beginning to like)? Had a nightmare again?" The girl (as he she was a participant of the project Spartan-2) gently resting her palm on his chest.  
"Yes, right." The guy answered vaguely.  
"Tell me." She asked, no, more she demanded.  
"I sit at the controls of the spacecraft and think about you (the way you reason Liona. It's funny name, isn't it?) while experiencing strange sensations and long forgotten, despite the fact that I like the android top human evolution is now alien to any expression of emotions and feelings.  
And it all started with that damn baby bald monkeys adopted you.  
At first I did not mind because the meat would still human babies the most gentle and sweet in the world unless of course believe "the Chinese people's encyclopedia about tasty and healthy food", and although I did not have a need for organic food nevertheless not indulge in from time to time to enjoy the taste food program (thanks to the taste buds).  
But then something strange happened: you're not going to eat it.  
"Crazy." I thought and putting the ship on autopilot then I went to my cabin lay on the bed and continued to remember.  
My new species was all just picked up a pair of supercomputer on individual characteristics without any nonsense like love, friendship and other forms of parasitism.  
Union formally registering, we went to our honeymoon on the third planet SS to taste the sweetest delicacy from all that I had to try as you were here for the first time.  
Once our program would merge into a single whole consciousness and thereby gave offspring in each other, we both just cease to exist but...  
Instead, when I cut the whole settlement you took the only surviving baby to be raised.  
"Indifferently fool." I decided for myself.  
After that case you completely lost your head and only nursed a child with this periodically tossing it to people so they fed him. Eventually I got tired of all this madness, and I killed a baby.  
Killed and ate in front of you.  
Thus, I expected to fix things when suddenly came the belated notice of intergalactic Office: supercomputer is given failure!  
Unthinkable.  
Liona was patient escaped from a psychiatric clinic and forged documents.  
I naturally law-abiding citizen Empire had no choice but to surrender to the authorities my wife. A further consequence of the Court. Verdict. Execution.  
Now I began to understand your nonsense: "if people are endowed with reason and conscience, they allegedly live and can not be eaten". People! It's over.  
Now to my new experiences added another sense of hatred. I steered to the third planet SS with a single purpose: to kill all the people.  
Approaching the bio-computer and attaching electrodes to the head asked "Delete memories". The last thing I saw on the monitor fading going to sleep before the long flight was only one word:  
"Liona..."  
Having said this, he stopped, thinking about anything.  
"Never mind, it's just a stupid dream and nothing more!" The girl said with conviction.  
"Yes, of course." The guy whispered and then turning towards her pulled her to himself and clung to her all the while showering her with kisses...

"...One day I decided to cross the road on the green light and immediately fell under the wheels.  
And now that was once me bit by bit collects crumbs consciousness, fragments of understanding the universe killed smeared on the asphalt to non-existent soul of puzzles turned out pretty picture suitable for surrounding my new behavior program imparts fraction sense justifying a miserable existence under the slogan "Life".  
"But what about the death?!" Someone will exclaim with indignation forgetting to take medication for insomnia that eventually leads to an abandoned loneliness and it makes a hell of schizophrenia afterwards to save a stand alone complex who hated by a college of equally ugly monotonous legioneers mutually hating them so that it is contagious and he has been sick terminally and this in turn a little sad that so crying with laughter remembering earthly spirited wonderful and so vain that simply does not matter as it was and it will be but it's important as it is only really of himself and who "I am" is yours and what comes out of you from the inside when you absolutely do not expect it but just imagine all this in a dream..." "Spartan" halfheartedly listening another traveller's tale of his comrade and equipping his gun. Suddenly before his eyes took some incomprehensible ripples.  
Guy tried blinked and it even seems at first helped but there appeared before him a rectangular "window" with a list of some unknown:  
Invisible Mode  
God Mode  
Infinite Ammo  
Give All  
Infinite Clip  
Teleport  
Walkthrough  
Quit  
Sometime a spartan just stood silently in prostration and then if waking from a long sleep roused himself from his pocket of his tactical pants nowhere holding of portable rocket launcher M19 SSM «Jackhammer» and turned to face comrades stood with his back to the nearest wall taking aim at them with his weapon. At some time in the air hung heavy silence which first broke girl:  
"So, what you Covenant hell, do you think you're doing?"  
"I want to offer YOU to go with me." As if nothing had happened the guy said putting special emphasis on "you".  
"And WHERE is it if it's not a secret?" She asked sarcastically imitating him.  
"This is absolutely not important thing away from here."  
"But what ..." He did not let her finish her killing:  
"But what "what"? "Our struggle, ideals"? You're going to ask about this, aren't you? You see, my dear, all this is nonsense and does not play now and the first of way too no role there where we go."  
"Come on, guys, kill him - he is Covenant spy!" The girl exclaimed and the first pre-opened heavy fire dived for cover. All other trace and joined together echoed her.  
Here are just a miracle but "spy" absolutely had no reaction to flying directly through him bullets and calmly stood with curiosity and some regret looking at their pathetic attempts to cause him any harm though. Gradually shooting came to naught.  
"This is ghost!" Someone yelled hysterically.  
"Ghost" sneered:  
"You know, I won't even shoot at you." And turned to the wall took a step passing through it when he was suddenly stopped by a desperate cry of recovered girl:  
"Stop! By what are you deserve it? Why you? So, you're better than me or him or even there him, aren't you?"  
"Hey!" Hurt and unhappy "even there he" cried.  
"Absolutely nothing. I'm just incredibly lucky today." Former Spartan said without turning around and added before disappear completely. "Farewell, Liona."  
Some long moment everybody stared at the wall where he dissolved.  
"And what's next?" Someone sounded one question tormented all of them.  
"But perhaps nothing." She wearily answereded absently. The girl continued looking blindly into the space in front of the window void,- he will likely hijack rescue capsule and shuttle explode on it through hyperspace jumping into the unknown place but it gave him one known.  
As if to confirm her words siren wailed raised alarm. Not wanting to look at the ship from flying off the shuttle she silently trudged down the hallway away from the crowded cabin window comrades even thought not allowing them to show her momentary weakness in the form of tears choked her hated:  
"Farewell, my little hare..."

Record number 7 in the Legio's Dictaphone:  
"...In the surface one-day volume of garbage H2O in the middle of police and another trash at the deepest sky there was heart in the form of bread lay on Wheat street.  
And I passed by just looking at the same stuffy colored lawn one whole so gray and inconspicuous, serious and unpleasant.  
But there was no one to turn me into a bird when I crushed its by my boots so as not to stain my feet and make me grow a new heart in the form of bread.  
But nobody grayer my mother hair and did not take her soul and not snatched Mirror of her eyes and had not escaped with a tear on her cheek.  
Only the heart in the form of bread lay on Wheat street and swimming in the waves of asphalt it carelessly smiled in response to the very unscrupulous sleepless sun which is still unable to find by the wind; to the very mighty wind that chasing pack that same black clouds; to small black cloud against the blue sky which does and do not bear; to that same bottomless homeless sky diving into that so nice to fly.  
Heart smiled as if it knew that something unprecedented unknown invisible for us so as the puppy affectionately and slyly playful and carefree smiled in response heart in the form of bread on Wheat street just before eating it, no, no, no on whim but only from the cold need to apologize in advance yourself telling us:  
"Sorry..."

Epilogue. Part 1.

Orbital remote monitoring system of fully robotic planet-colony mining minerals recorded space shuttle. It caught in the zone of asteroids flying around the planet and crashed on the surface.  
Intelligence report.  
Subject:  
Human Male  
Physical condition:  
Loss of all function  
Mental condition:  
Intact  
Procedure:  
Memory erasure and transplant  
1001101011010011010110100110101  
1010011010110100110101101001101  
0110100110101101001101011010011  
0101101101000101011010001010110  
1000101011010001010110100010101  
Access: Organic systems...  
Locomotion - Connect  
Sensory - Connect  
Organic connections complete  
Unit #127 activated  
#127 memory erase sequence  
...Initiated  
Error  
Error  
Error  
Error  
Error  
Error  
Error  
Error  
Error  
Error  
Error  
Error  
Error  
Error  
"#127 begin work sequence comply!"  
"To all units:  
#127 has malfunctioned.  
Seek and destroy!.."

Epilogue. Part 2.

God played. His all-seeing eye with delight and awe as sweetly observed on territory entrusted to Him to grow and develop the city and country. But then God was bored. He realized: it needs a war! And He at once became better living. God chose a people and with the help of priests led them to war against infidels. But what is? Infidels did not only incorrect surrendered to His chosen people of God, but also drove this most people in the neck but kicks ass!  
God had to intervene: He sent on wrong kinds penalty. And while the pathetic little people rebuild their city God used magic spell and began an arms race.  
However, this time the wrong nerve to oppose God. Then it naturally has nothing left to Him but to build an atomic bomb and bomb, bomb, bomb...  
And all would be well but suddenly and unexpectedly on meanly territory entrusted to Him it began to appear ozone hole, acid rain, desertification, greenhouse, nuclear winter. God was sad. Then He forced His people to build "the Ark" spaceship and sent its far away into deep space to explore new horizons distance, to enslave infidels and make another big set of good deeds.  
God in heaven turned irritation computer, scored in His vexation large nail and threw the disc out the window. Then He sat down at his desk and began to write pseudo-scientific work on "Our whole life is a game, or what is it that is not an easy job to be God".  
God played. His all-seeing eye with delight and awe watched fondly as entrusted to Him insignificant little man writes a pseudo-scientific work on "Our whole life is a game, or what is it that is not an easy job to be God".  
God played...


End file.
